Denial and Minimization

I have many many clients who come in with denial and/or minimization of what has happened to them in their lives. This is a survival mechanism or coping strategy that develops in childhood in order to keep us safe. We can begin to look at and heal out of the trauma that required these coping strategies through therapy, and completely release and clear the trauma with Cellular Release Therapy®.

“All of us experience denial on some level. It is quite common, for example, to have a distorted or limited view of our childhood. This is understandable given the fact that while we were growing up, we had so little experience outside our homes. Without a basis for comparison, we grew up thinking our families were the norm. Whatever went on in our living rooms became the standard.

In most families, this lack of objectivity is further clouded by the creation of a family mythology—a collection of lies, evasions, distortions, and half-truths designed to obscure an unpleasant reality. It’s a way to go on with life without being constantly reminded of its painful aspects.

Most of us have myths in our background. Here are some common ones: “Daddy isn’t an alcoholic, he just needs a drink to relax.” “Mommy and Daddy don’t hate each other, they just have a lot of worries about us kids.” “My parents don’t play favorites; they love all their children equally.” “My needs aren’t being ignored; I just don’t have any.” “My mother isn’t angry at me; she just doesn’t know how to show affection.” “My father isn’t abandoning us; his job requires that he put in extra hours.” We cling to our family fiction even in adulthood, despite the fact it’s outlived its usefulness, because we don’t want to awaken the pain that was blocked by the convenient mythology.

As adults, most of us experience denial on another level as well, which is to be unaware of the coping mechanisms we developed as children to survive a less than ideal childhood. We are blind not only to some aspects of family history but to parts of ourselves. For example, when I was young, I used to lie a great deal, because lying served a number of valuable purposes. For one thing, it helped me create a more palatable version of reality.” – Patricia Love